5 Examples of Mansplaining that Guys Do without Meaning to

If you’re a guy reading this, you probably mansplain more than you think. And I say this as a guy too. No matter how much you champion feminism and gender equality, you probably don’t realize it when you’re mansplaining yourself. I have met a lot of men who advocate strongly for female empowerment but fall into the trap of explaining something to a woman in an overconfident tone.

But who can blame you when you’re unconsciously told by society that you always have to be right?

When you Google mansplaining, one of the top search results is a chart explaining what mansplaining is. The fact that this article is so high up in Google rankings shows that some males do have the intent of changing their behavior.

As I’ve become more mindful of mansplaining in the workplace, I realized that I have actually done it on a regular basis. I honestly believe it’s one of those things that we subconsciously do even if we don’t intend to.

It only took one instance where a colleague of mine mansplained something so blatantly for me to become mindful of my own actions.

If you’re still not sure what mansplaining really entails, Merriam-Webster perfectly defines it in this article. Basically, it’s when a man who has little to no knowledge of the topic at hand explains it condescendingly to a woman thinking he knows better.

The concept seems like it’s easy enough to grasp, but it might be tricky for guys to actually spot it when it presents itself in real life. Here is a list of five examples of mansplaining that you should keep in mind all the time.

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1. You play the telephone game.

Have you ever played ‘pass the message’ where the last person in the line gets a totally different statement from the original one? Well can you imagine how frustrating it is for women to say something and have men spread their own, misinterpreted message?

Our biases sometimes get in the way of how we understand what other people say, which is why it’s important to have an open mind when listening to a woman speak. When you fail to truly listen to what a woman says and spread her message through the lens of your own biases, you are already mansplaining.

Just like in ‘pass the message’, it’s important to understand exactly what a woman is saying instead of creating your own version in your head. Don’t tangle up the words because you were too hard-headed.

2. You speak for a woman who is there.

You just need to let women speak for themselves especially when they’re in the conversation too. Let’s say your female friend says something and another person asks her to clarify what she meant.

What you are not going to do is speak for your friend. She is probably smart and can articulate what she wants to say, but just needs a chance to do so. Unless she is obviously struggling or explicitly asks you to help her out, just keep quiet.

When I catch myself wanting to explain what a woman just said, I realize that she could say what she wants to say better than I can. If you’re really that impatient because the conversation isn’t moving forward quickly enough, always ask your female friend if what you interpreted in your mind was what she was really trying to convey.

For example: instead of “I think what she was trying to say is…“, you should instead ask her: “did you mean it like this?”

3. You listen to rebut.

Ah yes, the classic reason why arguments usually don’t go anywhere. If there’s anything I learned from being in a college dominated by females, us guys should just listen to them because they’re right most of the time.

If you’re looking for examples of mansplaining, you’ll realize that our failure to listen with intent is the main culprit of why we do it in the first place. We fail to hear out logical reasoning from women because we refuse to believe that we could actually be wrong.

Before all the facts are presented to us, we tend to jump to our own conclusions. And what’s scary is that we believe so much in ourselves that we tend to explain things with overflowing confidence… when we’re probably in the wrong.

Humility. Live to learn it!

4. You repeat what women say.

You just have to get the last word in, don’t you? This is particularly noticeable in situations where people are trying to stand out and win over someone’s attention, like in a classroom with your professor or in a meeting with your boss.

When a female classmate or colleague answers a question brilliantly, some men may get threatened by her showcase of intelligence. Instead of building on her idea or letting her bask in the spotlight, a mansplainer may raise his hand.

Is he going to say something smart? No.

He’s probably just going to repeat what she said but word it differently. It’s like when you write a paper and you rearrange some words here and there — maybe paraphrase it a bit — to avoid plagiarism. However, in this context, the mansplainer just wants to sound smart to the person he’s trying to impress by trying to “simplify” the statement and make it sound like her idea was his.

What he doesn’t realize is he just looks like a jackass to everyone.

5. You explain women’s issues to women.

It’s really laughable and annoying whenever men decide that they’re experts when it comes to issues faced predominantly by women. Whether it’s about the menstrual cycle, unexpected pregnancies, or the constant fear of being catcalled, we should have it ingrained in our minds that we don’t truly know how these things really feel.

Yes, we can have opinions on said topics, but we shouldn’t impose them on women who have actually lived through those experiences. The only information we have is on a secondhand level, taken from reading books or talking with… a woman.

The golden rule of mansplaining: if your opinion on something is explicitly asked, then you’re a-okay. We should never downplay what women go through, and we should always keep our ears open to truly understand where they’re coming from.

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And those are only a few examples of mansplaining. If you have stories or thoughts about mansplaining, feel free to leave a comment below. Loved this article? We have more advice for you here.

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