You’re lost, and you’re at a scary point in your life. You can’t help but feel like you need someone older to guide you. But it’s okay, young grasshopper. You don’t need a mentor.

Going through the maze of life is already confusing in and of itself. But trying to find my way through the darkness without somebody holding the proverbial flashlight for me is unbelievably difficult. While the only thing some people wish for in life is a faithful lover or a loving child, I’ve always asked the higher beings for something else: a mentor. Oh, how I envy the people who have that special someone with the right answers to all their questions — a crystal ball that holds all the wisdom that they need to conquer the road ahead.

As much as I love to tout that I’m an independent boy, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on so much in life when I feel like I’m doing it on my own. I mean sure, I have a strong support system in my family and friends. I’ve even had college professors who were beyond inspirational. But I always felt like I was never a Cory Matthews to any Mr. Feeny’s. Nobody has really believed that much in me that they decided to take me under their wing.

Not gonna lie, that fact in of itself has really messed with my self-esteem. My relationships with my teachers are one-way admiration at best.

It’s not anyone’s fault though; I get total social anxiety talking to people of authority. I don’t know what it is, but I have a difficult time talking to older people like they’re actual human beings. I tend to treat them as people I have to be nice to, rather than people I can pour out my soul to. And it just gets harder for me to connect with them because I have it inside my head that they don’t really like me. After all, they only get to see the side of me that’s designed to impress, rather than somebody whom they can root for.

No one really believes in me. At least, I don’t think so.

And that’s what makes it so frustrating.

During the times where I have little to no confidence in myself, there’s no one to assure me that I can do it and actually mean it. There is nobody who will leave me be in arduous situations to find my own way, but keep a watchful eye to make sure I’m okay. There is nobody I can talk to about what I want to do in the future and tell me that I can do way better. There is nobody who will be tough on me and eloquently debrief me once l’ve learned my lesson.

These are the times I think to myself… I need a mentor.

While my friends are a good soundboard for all my personal frustrations, I feel like it’s different when advice comes from someone who knows what they’re talking about. Digging deeper, I guess that’s also why I invest so heavily in watching television shows and movies; I’ve substituted the mentor figure in my life with a mere electronic gadget displaying color and playing sounds.

For instance, Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy is someone I’ve attached myself so deeply to. Even though she’s just a TV character, I’ve witnessed her go through the endless ups and downs of life for over 15 years that the show has been on air. There’s something about watching a surgeon overcome personal and professional obstacles that inspire me to become better.

And it’s not just her.

There are talented television writers who know how to craft true-to-life scripts and quotable one-liners that make me stop and ponder on my own life. I know that any scene, line, or character arc that moves me to tears was probably written by somebody who has experienced something similar in their own lives. Hence, it must be credible.

And as delusional as it may sound, I always feel like those particular scenes were written especially for me, as if God was talking to me through the television.

I guess a little delusion is needed to survive this mentor-less life.

Because when you feel like nobody is there to give you words of wisdom, you’ll find a sense of authority in the characters you see on screen. Or the characters in your book, a Disney Channel Original Movie, a tear-jerking Jollibee commercial… every line with a hint of semblance to your own life will sound like gospel. And you run with it.

Some of the pivotal decisions I have made are all thanks to television. Pursuing a communications degree was all thanks to Scandal’s Olivia Pope and my fleeting dream of becoming a crisis fixer. Then at some point before senior year, I swore that it was my destiny to become a doctor just like Meredith Grey. And after binge-watching some Shark Tank episodes, I swore that I was born to be a successful entrepreneur like Mark Cuban. Okay, that one’s not fictional, but the point stands.

Who knows what fortune a show will bring me next time?

I guess what I want to try to say is, you don’t really need a mentor. But it will require you some inner stability, unfounded self-confidence, and creative ways of motivating yourself. For me, it was watching television and living vicariously through the characters. As you get used to it though, you’ll slowly learn how to depend more on the voice inside of you.

Now that I’m twenty-two, I know that it’s not too late for me to find someone to fill that particular void in my life. But even if I never get one, I’ll be okay. Because I realize that I’ve only gotten better as a person without depending on anyone else. I learned to pick myself up and find my way around with just me shining the light.

At the very least, I feel like I’m doing my part in making sure that other people who feel like they need a mentor can look up to me even in the littlest ways. I am definitely not the best choice to be anybody’s role model by any means, but hey, there’s no harm in trying.

When I found my groove in college, I really took it upon myself to step up in leadership roles. What started out as a way to prepare myself for my own future (and a kick-ass resume) became an enjoyable avenue to influence people younger than myself. You can pay forward something that wasn’t passed onto you.

That’s what life’s like when you can’t confide your goals and dreams to people older than you.

It will feel aimless at times, but you’ll find yourself reaching the finish line somehow. There’ll probably be a lot of mistakes made, but because of them, you’ll learn faster than everyone else. You’ll be fighting a lot of demons just to convince yourself that you can keep going. That’s what makes you stronger than them. And somewhere along the way, you’ll realize that the limit does not exist because you say it doesn’t.

It’s scary, difficult, and oftentimes, frustrating. But in the end, you’ll come out a dreamer, always excited for what’s to come.

Don’t miss out on more reflections, thoughts, and quotes by following @zoomerscornerph on Instagram! And you never know what you’re gonna miss on Zoomers Corner, so make sure to sign up for our newsletter.

Featured Image: Yogendra Singh

The post No, You Don’t Need a Mentor (You Just Need Yourself) appeared first on Zoomers Corner.

The coronavirus pandemic and world events have taken a huge toll on our mental health and overall wellness. Good news is there are low-effort, mostly free ways to get yourself through this… with proven benefits!

You can also simply do these activities to relive boredom. This isn’t a sponsored post by the way, so feel free to click on things without the feeling of being advertised to.

1. Start a journal.

Being away from your friends can be mentally taxing! Even if you feel like nothing’s happening in your life right now, writing down your thoughts and memories from your pre-quarantine life can help you process all the good and bad things that have happened in your life. Hey, research shows that writing down your thoughts is a great activity to help your mental health and boost your immune system. This is a guide on how to start your journaling journey.

2. Prepare something awesome in the kitchen.

There’s a reason why we stress-eat, and that’s because our food and well-being are so intertwined! When you bake for example, you’re actually putting your body through therapy because you redirect your thoughts to one focused activity. Here is a easy-to-make, seven-ingredient recipe for sugar cookies.

3. Do cardio exercises.

If you’re feeling guilty about overeating this quarantine (which you shouldn’t), then you’re in luck! Since quarantine, Youtube has been blowing up with workout videos that don’t require any equipment. My personal favorite channel is PopSugar, which has a wide collection of fun videos that cater to all kinds of workout levels. As painful as they are, cardio has been documented to help reduce stress hormones.

4. Clean your room.

Maybe Marie Kondo was on to something. When we get anxious, we tend to do repetitive tasks that give us a sense of control, such as cleaning. This of course, helps reduce anxiety. On the other hand, our mental health is compromised when we live in a messy space, because it is usually linked to stress and tension. So grab those brooms and get to cleaning!

5. Play mobile games.

If you’re like me who’s experiencing major FOMO from not having a Switch and Animal Crossing, we still have our smartphones to rely on. Pass the time with shooters like Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, and simple puzzle games like Two Dots. Unlike what media has led you to believe, there are a lot of benefits from playing video games; among them is the capacity to reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.

6. Start a “podcast” with your friends.

It doesn’t have to be a real podcast and you don’t have to have a grand set-up, but just talk out whatever with your friends! Not only are podcasts a creative outlet for your pent-up frustrations, but venting out and listening to someone’s problems has some benefits like catharsis and a deeper connection. Doing it podcast-style will help you form your thoughts and get to the points faster. Here’s a guide on how to start a podcast!

7. Pick up an instrument.

Playing an instrument can actually reduce stress, and has a lot of mental benefits linked to memorization and concentration. Chances are your house may have a piano or a guitar just gathering dust somewhere, so better put it to good use and relearn those pesky keys/chords!

8. Have a skincare routine.

Okay, it doesn’t have to be an all-out expensive affair. Just putting on moisturizer and cleaning your face with whatever you have will do. Doing your research on what products do and which ones to buy will already take you a good half-day. Following a skincare routine is linked to numerous emotional benefits like stronger mental stability and a sense of mindfulness.

9. Meditate.

Get your zen on with a relaxing and soothing meditation sesh! The App Store and Play Store are filled with topnotch meditation apps, with the more popular ones including Headspace and Calm. Youtube is also a treasure trove for those just getting into this tranquil activity, with a lot of guided meditation videos for beginners.

10. Listen to music on full blast.

There are a lot of things you miss out on when you’re just listening to your songs in the background like you’re used to. Go on Spotify, and put your best headphones or speakers on so you’ll be able to appreciate the song in all its intricate glory! I personally enjoy looking up the lyrics on Genius to feel all the feels even more. Listening to music triggers “happy hormones” like dopamine and serotonin!

11. Take a cold shower.

Fun fact: it was once used as a form of therapy! Its mental health benefits include reduced stress levels (once you get pass the initial shock) and increased mental resilience. The Philippines is no stranger to extremely hot weather, which is why a shower is always a great option. Even if you stand cold water trickling down my back, it can get pretty relaxing once you get used to it. The best part is you can do this while meditating and listening to music, making it a great form of relaxation.

These are things to do during quarantine that will help teenagers and college students alike. Now that summer break is in full swing and no one is allowed to go outdoors, it’s more important than ever to find ways to cope with stress. While these are mostly self-care activities, it’s also important to reach out to your loved ones to help you get through this terrible year.

Featured Image: Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

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Raise your hand if you’ve been daydreaming about the apocalypse in a Zoom lecture.

In an article by YouGov last March, data journalist Jamie Ballard claims that 29% of Americans think that the apocalypse will happen in their lifetime. With the shitstorm that has happened since this article was published, I wouldn’t be surprised if this number has already spiked tenfold. So clearly, you are not alone in fantasizing (or realizing) that the world may be at its end.

If there’s anything that coronavirus has exposed, it’s how broken our systems are. It’s honestly been discouraging to see the world fall apart, just because some people choose to discriminate and even murder people based on one’s race, class, sexual orientation. It’s been discouraging when your democracy is constantly being threatened, and the men in power manage to pull hope further away.

For those of us lucky enough not to get hit by weapons though, we are getting brutally decimated in an equally dangerous place: the mind.

I’m sure most of us are experiencing a level of anxiety in the current situation that our country has placed us in. I took the time to read this great article by Valerie Strauss of The Washington Post, that shows how teachers can re-purpose their curriculum to adjust to the students’ mental needs. Obviously though, not all schools are going to end up doing this perfectly, and we also have to pull our weight too, so I thought I’d see how we can help ourselves adjust to the new normal for our education.

Here are some things to reduce anxiety for students and young professionals alike (just replace ‘teacher’ with ‘boss’):

1. Realize that routines have changed, even for your teacher.

Most of us probably had our own routines pre-quarantine, but given the new living conditions we are in where our home and school lives are almost inseparable, you get a free pass! But, the same thing can be said for our teachers, who are all still getting used to teaching in front of a screen. Their lives have probably also shifted too, so don’t forget to empathize.

2. Be open to communicating with your teacher.

Help your teacher help you by addressing the elephant in the room. Not feeling well? Having family problems? Send an e-mail. The worst thing you can do is force yourself to attend an online lecture when you feel like you are mentally crumbling inside. Keep your fingers crossed that your professor will understand you.

3. Talk it out with your friends.

Maintaining strong relationships is more important than ever. It might be a given, but please process your thoughts with friends. Tell them what’s bothering you, because you know what? They might be feeling the same way as you! Schedule Netflix parties, do online game nights, or whatever you like to do together. There’s more to life than online classes

4. Reconnect with people from your past.

And no, I’m not talking about rekindling an old flame. I’m talking about your friend from six years ago that you had never spoken a word to in God knows how long, but still likes your Instagram posts. Feeling like you have a strong support system helps you feel more empowered, and the catch-up sessions you’ll have with them can provide a really good distraction.

5. Surround yourself with positive news.

Unfortunately, the algorithms that run our social media accounts force us to read through content that our friends share, which are more likely than not, bad news. Somewhere out there though, something good is happening to someone. Just Google “good news”, and you’ll have so many uplifting stories to lessen the pain from reading the news.

6. Know that you can help.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re useless in all this chaos. But you should know that you can always spread awareness through your socials, educate your friends, sign petitions, and donate. The worst thing you can do in a crisis is be apathetic. Don’t be that person!

7. Learn history.

Whether it’s a health pandemic, a peaceful revolution, or a civil rights movement, the important thing to realize is that there were victories in our history. And since history likes to repeat itself, we’ll probably win some time.

8. Express yourself creatively.

Truth of the matter is, not all of us are comfortable talking about problems with other people. With that said, it’s time to bring out the paintbrushes gathering dust in your room, or start your dreams of becoming a Youtube/podcast star. This is the time to channel your anger in a productive way, now that extracurricular activities have slowed down.

9. Take a break.

Don’t be afraid to disconnect once in a while, and prioritize your well-being. For my college friends out there, always know that you have cuts that you can maximize. If the news or your online classes are taking a toll on you, do something mindless. Only after having taken care of yourself, can you really perform at your best and help out other people

I realize that the tips above do not have a lot to do with actual studying, but you know what, being at the right state of mind is more than half the battle. It’s just like an athlete needing a full sleep cycle the night before a big game. So try and hack your brain a little by incorporating the feeling of security in your daily life. Your mind will thank you for it!

Featured Image: Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels

The post 9 Ways to Mentally Survive Online Classes appeared first on Zoomers Corner.

Hey Zoomers,

There are only five months left until 2020 is over, and I think we can all agree that this year might just be the worst one of our collective lives. In the Philippines alone, we have dealt with the almost-eruption of Taal volcano, the coronavirus pandemic, the shutdown of our biggest television network, and the constant threats to our democracy and freedom of speech.

The rest of the world hasn’t been any better. I don’t think I need to remind anyone that the year began with the Australian bushfires. And like the first domino that fell, we had seen an unstoppable force of misfortune follow afterwards, with floods in Indonesia, locusts in East Africa, and more recently, the poor reaction of Trump to racially-charged attacks by the police in America. Oh, and of course, coronavirus.

How could I forget?

This is a crazy world we’re living in, and it’s not getting any easier with what’s happening outside. Quarantine has forced us to be indoors all the freaking time. Even now that regulations have relaxed a bit, I think we are all afraid of getting infected by Miss Rona, so we can’t go wherever we please like we used to.

I think that has made it difficult for most of us to get some peace of mind. And being indoors forces us to be creatures of social media, but it’s not like that’s any better with all the bad news coming out. Do you ever just reminisce about the mundane things that you used to do before corona happened?

Because I do.

I think about all the times that I’d just drive to the nearest mall and treat myself to a nice meal on Wednesdays. Or the times I’d get a random call from a bored friend who just wanted to get dinner together. These were small things, but they kept me sane. And because of the pandemic, we had to sacrifice those “small things” that kept us alive.

It’s tough out here, and we have to acknowledge that there is a learning curve to taking care of mental health in these times. It’s okay not to be okay. With that said, I don’t pretend to know the answer to anything about the issues that surround our emotional capacities as human beings. All that I want to do with this platform is discuss this topic as freely as possible, without the stigma of mental health, and spread tips on how I take care of myself, because I’m in the camp that says self-care is the best care.

It’s important to learn more about mental health no matter how young you may think you are, because all of us have experienced some sort of anxiety in our lives. That has to be ranked up there with one of the worst feelings a person could ever feel. And unfortunately, it’s never going to stop from returning.

So this July, let’s talk about mental health for teenagers and children, because yes, we are facing a lot of pandemics right now (I’m talking metaphorically here), and we are going to cope with all of them together! We are moving forward with our sanity intact.

The post This July, We’re Coping with the World appeared first on Zoomers Corner.