Zoom in the Philippines is just a whole ‘nother ballgame. Having group calls and e-numans through the video-conferencing app has been a staple in our lives under quarantine.
In fact, we’ve used it so much the past months that we could lump all your friends and colleagues into one of these ten stereotypes, depending on how you act in a Zoom room. The question is: which one are you?
There’s always that friend who’s on the call with their TV turned on in the background. And for some reason, it’s always tuned in at a time when news are on.
Then there are also times when you’d hear something religious blaring from the TV, like a priest celebrating Mass or reciting a prayer. Definitely not a good time to be talking about sex in your call.
This person likes to change their Zoom backgrounds to get some laughs in the meeting room. Or maybe it’s just a manifestation of their inner fear of being stuck indoors forever. Probably that.
The Virtual Background Enthusiast is also the person in the call who’s obsessed with dank memes. It’s just the law of nature.
When taking your calls in a shared space, it’s inevitable that somebody pops up in your background… like your mom. However, the Tita Photobomber Victim’s mother just doesn’t care if the others see her in her pambahay clothes, gingerly doing house chores in her leisure time.
Tita will even initiate conversations with her “victim” while the call is ongoing. She just doesn’t give a damn!
One thing’s for sure though: Zoom in the Philippines is definitely more entertaining with her around.
They’re the person who barely gets a word in throughout the entire meeting. Maybe they’re not fond of online interaction, maybe they’re tired, or maybe they’re just really shy.
But hey, if you look at them once in a while, you’ll see them laughing along with everyone else. It’s a sign that their soul hasn’t been thoroughly sucked out yet!
Joseph Stalin, who? Great dictators from history got nothing on this one. Be careful which person you give hosting powers to, because if they end up in the wrong hands, it will be pure chaos!
Nicknames will be changed, participants will be muted, and yes, people will get kicked out.
Ah yes, probably everyone’s favorite person in the Zoom room. The extreme heat means everyone has to turn on their electric fan to get some of that cold air. But no one, and we mean no one, wants to hear that buzzing sound in their ears.
Raise your hand if you’re the bitch who calls out someone when their electric fan is being too loud in a call. I just did.
There will come a time when somebody’s dog or cat “accidentally” enters the frame. And I placed that in quotation marks because they’re not fooling anyone, we know this person just wants to show everybody how cute their pet is!
So this is what always happens in this situation: the whole conversation stops as the person expresses (fake) surprise that their pet is suddenly on their lap, everyone stops for fifteen seconds to go gaga over it, some small talk ensues about something “crazy” that the pet did recently, and then everybody carries on with the previous conversation.
This person just isn’t used to being on-cam like us famous stars; they can’t go a minute without touching their hair and face!
Practicing their angles and poses for the gram is how they pass time when they’re on mute. Somebody has to tell them that this is definitely “America’s Next Best Friend”, and not America’s Next Top Model.
You know what makes Zoom in the Philippines so different? Our extremely slow internet! I can count in one hand the number of times I’ve been in a call where nobody got disconnected because of extremely abysmal internet.
This person could be saying the most melancholic heartfelt words on earth then suddenly get cut off mid-sentence. Or worse, disappear.
And then reappear… just to disappear again.
They probably hear “ano raw?” and “choppy ka” a lot in these calls. Those words are music to their ears. And when they see that their internet connection is unstable, they’re secretly praying that their video didn’t freeze at a time that made them look like a dumbass.
Never watched a beauty vlog in your entire life? Well don’t worry, because this person has you covered.
They’ll do their entire ten-step skincare routine on camera for everyone to watch, not realizing that the oils and product that they put on their face makes them look ridiculous. Or they do, but they just don’t care.
Isn’t Zoom in the Philippines just so colorful? Kidding aside, having an avenue to connect with each other during this pandemic really helps with our sanity. And having all these personalities come together in one virtual room helps the party get started!
So no matter what you’re like in Zoom, we’re happy that you exist. Even you Electric Fan Kings!
Who did we miss out on our list? Leave a comment below!
Having e-numans and Zoom calls are just a few items on our quarantine bucket list that we’ve crossed off. How about you? Take this fun quiz to find out! Don’t forget to follow us @ZoomersCornerPH on Twitter for more entertaining content.
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