It seems like every high school in the Philippines has an open secret: teachers are flirting with their own (underage) students… or worse. Don’t even try to call it anything other than what it is. There is a rampant problem of sexual abuse in schools, and it needs to stop.

First off, I would like to start this article with a content warning. I would also appreciate it if you could comment hotlines or organizations our readers can call in the Philippines specifically for child sexual abuse survivors.

Does This Really Happen?

Yes, it does.

If you’re a student, then a teacher from your high school probably entered your mind reading this. I can recall stories of people from different schools talking about it when we were in high school. Furthermore, a quick look into the Twitterverse will reveal that these things do happen in the Philippines.

It’s probably the giant elephant in the faculty room, too. If rumors are already swirling around the student population, then the teachers must already know that something fishy is going on. The question is, why is nobody doing something about it? Are they unaware, or do they choose to turn a blind eye to keep the peace?

The most difficult thing to handle for me is that we didn’t even know how messed up the whole situation was when we were still in high school. I remember hearing about teachers who flirted with their students or asked for their nudes, and no one really batted an eyelash. And for those who are unaware, yes, there were also some accounts of worse sexual activities being done.

Back then, these things would be the punchline of a joke, or just mere gossip to talk about during recess.

But only now, five years after leaving high school, do I realize that I was so vulnerable back then. It literally gives me chills knowing that I walked the halls with sexual predators disguised as teachers. It could’ve been me. Worse, I feel guilty for being so apathetic about this issue back then. I could’ve been friends with a survivor of sexual abuse, but I didn’t know a lot about the issue.

Most of what I know about the effects of sexual abuse in schools, I only knew after I had graduated. Even though I can’t turn back time to fix my mistakes from the past, now that I know better.

This is What Counts as Sexual Abuse

Before anything, let’s define what sexual abuse is. According to The National Child Trauma Stress Network, child sexual abuse includes both touching and non-touching behaviors, and occurs when a child is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator. While it is often equated with child molestation, there is a semantic issue with using that term, because it is mainly associated with only physical acts. Sexual abuse on the other hand, is not just about using physical force. And that fact is important to high school students who may not know that they’re actually being sexually abused right in front of their eyes.

Let’s work with the definition that we have and see what teachers do that counts as sexual abuse. This list is thanks to the folks at National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

• Sexual touching of a child – clothed or not (remember, even if it’s not meant to be sexual, do not let any person touch you without your consent even if it is your teacher)
• Showing pornography
• Exposing a child to sexual acts
• Forcing a child to take part in sexual acts
• Making a child undress or touch someone else
• Making a child masturbate
• Forcing a child to take part in sexual activities or online conversations

If you’re a sexual predator reading this list and didn’t see your actions above, you’re still not off the hook. Child sexual exploitation refers to giving a child anything (usually money or food) in return for sexual activities. On the other hand, child grooming is when a predator “prepares” a child for sexual activity later on, usually when they’re of legal age. When grooming a child, predators may also establish an emotional connection with them and their loved ones.

If that didn’t get you, then know that you’re a pedophile if you’re attracted to people who have not reached puberty yet. Needless to say, that is nothing to be proud of… and it’s illegal. In the Philippines, sexual activity with someone under 18 constitutes child abuse and exploitation.

Honestly, the fact that there are so many types of child abuse is disgusting. How many people on earth had to be preyed on for these distinctive terms to pop up?

What Happens to Children Sexual Abuse Survivors?

Sexual abuse is often associated with anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and self-blame. It is not uncommon for survivors to develop body issues and eating disorders as they grow older. They are also prone to suicidal thoughts, and may lead to self-harm. Unfortunately, the effects stay with them until they’re adults with many of them suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

What Can We Do?

Listen, this isn’t journalism. I am no expert on this deep matter and this article is something that I just had to get off my system after hearing some disturbing news about my high school. With that said, to students who have experienced or witnessed sexual abuse in schools, I want to link you to some resources instead.

If you’re a student who feels like they’ve been sexually abused, you can refer to this article to know some things you can do to help you through this. Know that legal action is an available option when you’re ready.

If you’re a friend of someone who was sexually abused, you can take a look at this article to learn how you can support them. Although this one is about sexual assault, the “how you can help” section is pretty applicable to someone who has gone through sexual abuse. Lastly, this article about traumatic events with input from counselors goes into more detail about how to go about it.

Finding online resources addressed to sexual abuse victims and their friends is shockingly difficult. I now realize that there is a need for us to talk about this issue openly to children. We shouldn’t just be talking to adults about sexual abuse in schools. Hey, children are the ones going through this, and they’re always online too. They need to know what they can and should do during moments of vulnerability. Yes, it is a heavy topic to discuss, but we should also do our part in destigmatizing it. In that way, the survivors would be able to feel less guilt and shame talking about their experience.

A Word to Parents

Parents, I have nothing to ask from you but to please believe your child. Whether they themselves are the survivors or not, please believe that what they’re saying is true. Looking at them like they’re crazy for bringing up sexual abuse in school is a slap in the face. If you must know, many child abuse cases go unreported, and the fear of not being believed by others may be a huge reason why.

As I’ve mentioned, these things happen, even in gender-exclusive schools. Even to boys. And yes, the sex of the teacher doesn’t matter; a predator is a predator.

It’s difficult, but please discuss these things with your child, even before you see signs of sexual abuse. Help with destigmatizing the issue. And to the parents who have developed an emotional connection with a teacher accused of sexual abuse, please do not take their side over a student’s. You do not want to be on the wrong side in this one.

Lastly, be an ally to students. This is mostly applicable for private schools, but know that you can always make an impact by speaking out with other parents about this. The school will probably listen to you more than their students.

A Word to Teachers

Teachers, you have no idea how much students look up to you. In a way, you set the tone of how the school is run. This is why your silence on the matter is pretty appalling. If you choose to dismiss the rumors you hear about your colleagues, then the students will probably stay silent too. We know you know. So for the good of everyone, stop normalizing this behavior and use your voice! Confront who you need to confront.

Also, in the off-chance a student opens up to you about your colleague, believe them, and do something about it. Here is a resource to get you started.

So in short, please, I ask you not to protect your colleagues. More than anyone, you’d probably know the right people to talk to so that things would actually change.

A Word to Schools Who Protect Predators

Here is a great educational piece on teachers sexually abusing students. And another one! But do you really need articles to know what the right thing to do is? It’s simple: stop putting the school’s reputation over your students’ welfare. Stop hiding these sexual abuse cases. Walk your talk.

If you don’t, I promise you that it’s going to bite you in the ass one day. The kids today know better.

I am encouraging everyone who is comfortable enough to share their thoughts about sexual abuse in schools on Twitter with the hashtag, #MySchoolHiresPredators.

Pride Month may be ending, but knowing the basics about LGBTQ+ community is a must. Read more here! And you never know what you’re gonna miss on Zoomers Corner, so make sure to sign up for our newsletter.

Featured Image: Kristina Flour on Unsplash Polina Zimmeran on Pexels

The post #MySchoolHiresPredators: Your Teacher May be a Sexual Abuser appeared first on Zoomers Corner.

Got nothing better to do in this rainy weather? With classes about to resume and the coronavirus pandemic forcing us into our own homes, it’s a great time to finally sit back and enjoy a book. The great news is that you can order all of these from Fully Booked Online, which is open for orders and delivery. Simply click on the book title, and you will be redirected to the order page in the website (this isn’t a sponsored post, but I just love Fully Booked).

Even though some of these books may delve into some heavy topics, these are books for teenagers alike! I went ahead and placed content and mature theme warnings for our younger readers. I recommend researching these books further; after all, they don’t come cheap.

1. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help

Content Warning: Depression

What It’s About: The author details his own experience of suffering from depression as he tries to inspire the readers to celebrate the small victories in life. There is always one thing to live for.

Why Read It: This book was published in 2015 when the phrase “mental health” was making its way into our everyday vocabulary, and we were just starting to take the matter seriously. Haig removes the stigma around the issue of depression, and some parts will definitely make a lot of people go, “I feel that too” or “So that’s why my friend behaves this way”. He speaks very openly about the topic, and does not hold back. The fact that he is a “survivor” makes him all the more credible and inspiring at the same time.

There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.

2. The Dictator’s Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always Good Politics by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita & Alastair Smith

Genre: Non-Fiction, Politics

What It’s About: Is democracy real, or is it just a made-up concept that the powerful leaders in the world continue to propagate to make us think that we have a choice in the matter? The authors of the book cynically believe that leaders will do whatever it takes to stay in power, and delve into real-life examples to support their case.

Why Read It: I love me some fact-based political conspiracies! If you loved watching Frank and Claire Underwood politic their way to the top in House of Cards, then this book will remind you to be wary of the leaders we’re in. Given the political climate here in the Philippines where we’re basically live in a faux democracy, this one is an appropriate read and will make you realize the inner mechanism of our government’s minds.

There’s nothing better than a rigged election, so long as you’re the one rigging it.

3. Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help

Content Warning: Multiple mature themes

What It’s About: As the title suggests, this book gives us an insight into how strangers think and how misguided we are in striking a conversation with them. The author of this book happens to host a podcast about history, so he gives us practical tips on how to talk to strangers built on the foundation of, you guessed it: historical events.

Why Read It: ‘Tis the season of Tinder, Bumble & Grindr, and we are in these dating apps to have our own quaranthings/quaranflings. The problem? Some of us have no idea how to talk to strangers. Like, at all. If you don’t like the feeling of being left on read by someone you barely know and you wonder why that happens to you a lot, maybe this book is for you. It all boils down to one thing: miscommunication.

You believe someone not because you have no doubts about them. Belief is not the absence of doubt. You believe someone because you don’t have enough doubts about them.

4. Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help

Content Warning: Emotional abuse, talk of truama

What It’s About: That is one extremely detailed and informational title for a book! The author is a psychologist that helps people process their toxic relationships. He guides readers in realizing the traumas that they have encountered, how their toxic relationship has changed the way they behave (believe me, it really messes up our psyche), and helps us cope through some exercises.

Why Read It: This one is pretty close to my heart, as I’ve helped picked up the pieces of my friends when they were going through a toxic relationship. The worst part is that most of them did not even realize that they were already being emotionally abused by their partner. This book is not only informative, but explains how much damage someone inflicted on you. More than that, it helps you look into yourself and feel free. I would recommend this book even to those people who had not felt that they were in a toxic relationship, but felt like they were not themselves after a breakup.

It is recognizing and accepting the full extent of the damage this person caused, and choosing not to carry it as your own damage anymore. It means you can walk away much faster the next time.

5. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Genre: Young Adult, Realistic Fiction

What It’s About: This award-winning book which also had a critically-successful film adaptation centers on 16-year old Starr Carter, who witnesses the unjust killing of her best friend. And of course, a police officer did it because what? All cops are bastards! The killing sparks protests, and Starr is caught between keeping quiet, or risking her life.

Why Read It: It’s chilling how this book published in 2017 reminds me so much of what’s happening outside our own walls. It mirrors so much of what’s happening right now with the Black Lives Matter movement, and is a pretty realistic reflection of society. We follow the story of a female black teenager navigating a world where black, indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) get the short end of the stick, and end up dead for just being born with a different skin color. More than that, a lot of issues intertwined with race, like class divide, are also highlighted in the book. Older readers, don’t be fooled. This may be a young adult novel, but it’s a damn good one that doesn’t beat around the bush. It may even move you to tears!

I can’t change where I come from or what I’ve been through, so why should I be ashamed of what makes me, me?

That’s it! Happy reading. I hope these (mostly non-fiction) book recommendations for zoomers and young people not only entertain you, but move you to think differently of yourself and the world around you.

Featured Image: Min An on Pexels

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